“Energy can neither be created or destroyed, it can only transfer from one form to another,” I answered triumphantly to a question in my eleventh-grade chemistry class. “Sounds like love!” I heard a low masculine voice quip from behind. Feminine giggles followed, glances exchanged. I didn’t see it, but I reckoned a game of footsies was afoot under some classroom benches. A rug was pulled from under a group of boys, myself included. And the low masculine voice permanently filled up the vacancy of the high-school heartthrob until our graduation two years later.
Nieuwe Driemanspolder – a spring cornucopia
In the spring of 2024, I took a walk in the Nieuwe Driemanspolder (abbr N3MP), a wetland that abuts Den Haag (The Hague) and Zoetermeer in Zuid Holland (South Holland). It is a pitstop for migrating birds, a haven for breeding birds, and a cornucopia for birders. It is also a mindfulness retreat. The crunching sounds from sea-shell laid walking paths, the green geese droppings, and inundated pathways keep the walker alert. But birding is a mindfulness exercise even in the absence of these cues.
Nieuwe Driemanspolder is criss-crossed by cycling-paths (fietspad), walking-paths (wandelpad), and motorable roads. And in between this web of trails is a wetland created for water-management. In spring this transforms into a love-paradise for avians. Waterfowl and waders breed here, often prompting the administration to shut down parts of the trail. Here, in spring, breeding birds perform elaborate courting rituals, some successful and some failed.
Love in vain? A Western Yellow Wagtail’s failed courtship
A Western Yellow Wagtail (Motacilla flava) landed on the wooden bridge’s railing. I moved closer to get a photograph. The wagtail seemed very tolerant of my presence. At the same time, it kept fidgeting on purpose. I didn’t understand this behaviour. And then I heard the wagtail’s song, but it originated behind me. I turned around to find another wagtail of the same species, more composed, almost evaluating, unlike the wagtail I was photographing.
There was an invisible chemical reaction going on, involving hormones and pheromones. The male wagtail was performing and the female wagtail was evaluating, I surmised. I readied myself to capture the happy ending. I took up a position against the railings, so I could see the male wagtail to my right and the female to my left. The courtship progressed, with the male edging closer to the female.
And, just like that, she flew away.
The male stayed put, motionless, almost in reflection. He was rejected. And would he ever know why?
Not so bird-brained mate evaluations
What is a bird’s equivalent of a Tinder profile? Do birds describe themselves as having impeccable plumage, shiny beak, and manicured talons, and intricate nest-builder? Rhetoric aside, they pick their mates through practical evaluation. In courtship, females evaluate plumage, songs, nest-building, territory protection of male suitors. Does this complex evaluation of a suiter indicate a higher level of cognition or reasoning in birds? We don’t know for sure yet, the jury is out between reasoning and instincts.
Basic instinct – a double-edged sword
Q. What does a male bird do, when rejected by a female bird?
A. Brood.
This attempted joke couldn’t be further from reality. Male birds keep looking for potential matches until they find a match. Unmated males might blame natural selection for their failures. In an evolved form of instinct, female birds reject a male suitor when they “smell” that the male is genetically related.
In the human world, “rejection” instinctively triggers a pain response. But why should it affect us the way it does? It is because of how we understand the concept of love.
Love is complicated and it is not
So what is love?
The animal world’s definition of love is less convoluted (or is it?). Animals are driven by territorial instincts. Territory fulfils two needs in animals — the need to eat and the need to mate. But animals don’t confuse that with love (or do they?). It is evident from their choice of unsophisticated territory markers.
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That evening, as I walked further in Nieuwe Driemanspolder, I saw a pair of grebes locking their beaks, with their necks forming the shape of a heart. A flock of Western Yellow Wagtails frolicked in a shallow puddle. Was there a love angle there?
Love is completeness
Actually, love is the feeling of completeness. As we grow from childhood to adulthood, we project artificial limits on our abilities. From being infants staring endlessly at our mirror reflections, we turn into adults who only see the blemishes and spots on our faces. And the feeling of love turns our scarcity into abundance.
It’s a simple equation:
Who you think you are + Love = Who you really are!
Love meets thermodynamics again
But, what about the times we meet set-backs or rejections in life? How can we feel loved? There is one person who can make you feel loved unconditionally. And that is you. Everytime you feel the need for love, you can give it to yourself. Isn’t that what my classmate from 11th grade stated during the chemistry-thermodynamics lesson? Love is like energy, you can transfer it to yourself. Love yourself and the world will love you.
Back in Nieuwe Driemanspolder, I sympathised with the male wagtail. But the male wagtail flew away towards the reeds, as though in disappointment. I looked through my binoculars, to see if I could pick up some post-rejection behavior. The male wagtail surprised me. It started peacocking again. Scanning the reeds, I found a duller-plumaged wagtail. The male wagtail directed his performance towards this potential mate.
Rejection, setbacks, failures—we let them dictate who we become. Love is nothing but the confidence that what we experience doesn’t change who we are.
A couple of bright orange-coloured beetles flew onto the wooden bridge’s railing and started to mate. A song started to play in my head: “All you need is love, love, love… / Love is all you need.”
Love yourself!
For Andy, no observation in nature is too small or banal. A single ripple on a pond can inspire him to connect, reflect, and ultimately act. It’s this unique ability to draw lessons from ecological adaptation and natural harmony that defines both his creative writing and his professional life.
As an emerging technology advisor, Andy bridges the gap between innovation and simplicity. His natural insights guide him in designing solutions that are not just efficient but intuitive—technology that mirrors the seamlessness of natural ecosystems.
Through his travel writing, Andy invites readers into his world of wonder, offering a fresh perspective on how nature's rhythms can inspire creativity, balance, and clarity. His work captures not only the beauty of the world but also the boundless possibilities it holds for creativity.
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